Friday, January 22, 2010

Would you?



Gawd...I hope your comments are saying, "not a snowballs chance in hell!"

What is wrong with her? I only have around $200 in my checking account and I would NEVER dress like that!

Then and now...

I found reading this article on NPR very interesting. It's funny, no matter how much things seem to change, they always somehow seem to remain the same.

source



Above is a cool photo of Bardstown Road then and now in what is today known as the Highlands.

source


What. The. Fuck???

I regularly listen to podcasts at work, I have ADD and it helps me concentrate. This morning I was listening to last nights ABC world nightly news to a story about Haiti and the race to get food and water to the Haiten people.

A correspondent from ABC news was flying with US military when food was dropped in a field, with hundreds of people patiently waiting for it. They were told to not come near the food, that it would be trucked to the towns and delivered to them shortly. The ABC journalist drove back to town to see if the food was in fact going to be delivered as said. Almost SIX hours later, the food came in by truck. ONLY for the hungry people to be told..."the soldiers who have brought the food have been up since 5 and haven't eaten today, so they are going to eat, then pass out the food."

OMG!!! WTF!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? SERIOUSLY???
Those poor people haven't eaten in 10 frickin' days and those soldiers are complaining because they haven't eaten all day?????????? I listened and watched the story a couple of more times and the "soldiers" were not Americans, I am not sure what nationality they were, only that they didn't speak English.

Here is the link, it is after Conan and before the man who talks in his sleep. It is near the end. I still just can't believe it.

Talkin' in your sleep!

You have to check this blog out...it's a hoot!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Really? Really? Are you serious????

I know, I know...I am posting a lot today, but I have a lot on my mind.

I have been meaning to post about this for a while, but it always seems to slip my mind. Until I have to go to the potty, then I think about it again, but by the time I get back to my desk, I have forgotten again....I am getting old.

To set the scene, I must tell you, Dunnski, Meatbag and I work in a professional office setting. One with offices, cubicles, a much higher ratio of Chiefs to Indians and professional attire (well, that was before our pay was cut and our benefits were lowered...at that point we could wear jeans. Cause you know, dressing like a slob makes the fact you are poor and can't afford your health care ALL BETTER!) "Bitter...your table for one is ready!"

I'm sorry what was I talking about??? Oh yeah, our professional place of business. I cannot speak for the men, because I do not frequent the men's room, but I am loudly screaming for the female race when I say, "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH WHOEVER IS WIPING THEIR BOOGIES ON THE WALLS IN THE POTTY AT WORK??"


I have two children, so I am used to seeing gross things. Trust me, we need to put on a haz-mat suit just to walk into our 14 year olds room. But, THIS is the nastiest thing EVER! I mean, come on! You are in the potty with, not one, but TWO roles of TP that you could wipe your snot on, but you chose to wipe it on the walls? Is this laziness? Is it a crazy person? Or is it just someone who was raised in the wild by a pack of bobcats?

Before my 16 years with my current company, I worked 5 years at a hardware store and 2 years at a concrete company that made septic tanks. By far the nastiest job was the septic tank place, but at least I can say, no one there wiped their boogies on the walls of the potty.

I mean, REALLY? Seriously??


Oh Yeah!!

Dunnski got an email this morning from Yankee Noodle with the following coupon attached:



Free Lettuce Wraps With Purchase Of Any Two Entrees!

Offer valid only with attached coupon. Limit one coupon per order. Not valid with any other discounts or coupons. Expires 1-31-10.


I LOVE me some lettuce wraps, so I have printed the coupon 27 times and we will have to go like two or maybe three times a day before the end of the month. But that is OK, I found some really cool disguises for us on ebay. Like this one for Dunnski and this one for me.

Speaking of bacon.....









source

50 ways to enjoy BACON!!!!

If my blog lovers are anything like me...I know you LOVE your bacon!!



So, click here to find all the reasons we love our pig!

Daddy ate my fingers...

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was
having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,
"Daddy, look at this", and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers
in my mouth and said,
"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers", pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on
the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied,

"What happened to my booger?"


Monday, January 11, 2010

Wow! Today is my lucky day!

I received all three of the following emails today! It must really be my lucky day! Except the third email had a lot of spelling errors.....Hmmmm......


Dear friend,

It is my pleasure to reach you after our unsuccessful attempt on our business transaction.

I have good news for you, more details is attached, please view the attached message and reply back immediately.


Thanks

Tom Willey

--------------------------------------------------------------

Our Ref: FGN/SNT/RAL
Your Ref: SNT/ATM/822

Attn:Beneficiary

NOTIFICATION OF PAYMENT VIA ATM CARD

I am directed to inform you that your payment verification and confirmations are correct, Therefore we are happy to inform you that arrangements have been concluded to effect your payment as soon as possible and in our bid to transparency.

Due to your long over-due payment which you have been finding it difficult to receive via a Certified Bank Draft issued by the UN Promo, we have arranged your payment through World Bank ATM Card Payment Center, this is part of an instruction/mandate passed by the United Nations in respect to all over delayed payment and debt re-scheduling.

We will send you an International Swift ATM Card valued sum of $315,810.00 USD (Three Hundred and Fifteen Thousand, Eight Hundred and Ten USD Only), which you are to use in accessing your fund in any ATM Stand/location worldwide and remember that the maximum withdrawal daily limit is Five Thousand United States Dollars (US$5,000.00) So kindly contact the representative ATM Payment Officer Dr.Harris Conklin (Contact Person)

Address: UN Secretariat, Wuse Zone II, Gariki-Abuja ,
Email:dr.harris_conklin@gala.net
Telephone: Tel: +234 705 6407 343

Make sure to reconfirm to him your details as your

Full Name,
Current Address,
Nationality,
Direct Phone number,

So as to facilitate the immediate release of your ATM Card to you.

Please be aware that you are the only person left to receive your ATM Card out of the (5) five beneficiaries. The ATM CODE of conduct is (ATM 5220) as this is to be your subject when responding to our email to proved that truly you received our email.

Note:Dr.Harris Conklin Will Notify you on how the payment of $87 Dollars will be made to the UPS delivery company for the shipment of your parcel to your home address,And as soon as he received your details he well call you on how the payment will be made to the UPS delivery company.

He shall be expecting to receive your email.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Mr. Thompson Hubert
UN Public Relations Officer

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir/ Ma,

Iam looking for your cooperation in building a Tourist Hotel orReal Estate in your country, but I am sorry if this is not in line withyour business because I got your contact from your country directorybook.

Ineed an experienced person like you to assist me to set up develop theproject and assume responsibility of ownership as chairman but will bebringing in profit /distribute profit monthly or annually.

The sharing of the fund is 55% for me, 40% for you and the remaining 5% will be for expenses incurred during the transaction.

Ishall give you more information specialization business and sector youbelong to in your country for immediate response from me.

Thank you for your anticipated understanding. Reply to my private e-mail address: kenneth.conroy1@london.com

Yours faithfully,

Kenneth Conroy

Thursday, January 07, 2010

4 reasons to carry a shovel at all times...





source

Really? Really? Are you serious????

First of all....if not for photoshop, Kim Kardashian would never have her picture taken....


and second....WHY is she posing inside a giant Nuvaring?????????????

Ugh...she seriously makes me want to hurl......REALLY!!!!

Funny side note...My friend Brigitte and I went shopping around Thanksgiving at Forever 21. After looking around for a while and finding only small and medium sizes, I asked a sales clerk where the new Kim Kardashian sizes were. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Hot Tamale of the Day!



Unforseen design problem...



tee hee....