Saturday, August 30, 2008

OMG

Needs Washing

Funny sick notes from parents

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Amanda for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear school: please excuse John being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the shits. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out].

12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Tina was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat. Her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Another awesome giveaway!

http://happy-sahm.blogspot.com/

Visit Mommy Time Online for an awesome Charm Bracelet giveaway. Click on the button or click here.

It's that time of year again!


I love Fall.

Halloween starts my favorite time of year...cooler weather, holidays, sweaters!

Visit Pippin Party and sign up today for a spooky Halloween giveaway.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Ha Ha Ha


Funny Accidents with Commentators - Click here for the most popular videos

Sour Cream-Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting and Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze

Sky High: Irresistible Triple-Layer Cakes

This cake is INTENSE. Serve it in the thinnest slices possible, and keep a glass of milk handy.

Makes an 8-inch triple-layer cake; serves 12 to 16

Sour Cream-Chocolate Cake
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, preferably Dutch process
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup neutral vegetable oil, such as canola, soybean or vegetable blend
1 cup sour cream
1 1/2 cups water
2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs

1/2 cup coarsely chopped peanut brittle (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter the bottoms and sides of three 8-inch round cake pans. Line the bottom of each pan with a round of parchment or waxed paper and butter the paper.

2. Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl. Whisk to combine them well. Add the oil and sour cream and whisk to blend. Gradually beat in the water. Blend in the vinegar and vanilla. Whisk in the eggs and beat until well blended. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and be sure the batter is well mixed. Divide among the 3 prepared cake pans.

3. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out almost clean. Let cool in the pans for about 20 minutes. Invert onto wire racks, carefully peel off the paper liners, and let cool completely. (note: These cakes are very, very soft. I found them a lot easier to work with after firming them up in the freezer for 30 minutes. They’ll defrost quickly once assembled. You’ll be glad you did this, trust me.)

4. To frost the cake, place one layer, flat side up, on a cake stand or large serving plate. Spread 2/3 cup cup of the Peanut Butter Frosting evenly over the top. Repeat with the next layer. Place the last layer on top and frost the top and sides of the cake with the remaining frosting.

5. To decorate with the Chocolate–Peanut Butter Glaze, put the cake plate on a large baking sheet to catch any drips. Simply pour the glaze over the top of the cake, and using an offset spatula, spread it evenly over the top just to the edges so that it runs down the sides of the cake in long drips. Refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 30 minutes to allow the glaze and frosting to set completely. Remove about 1 hour before serving. Decorate the top with chopped peanut brittle.

Peanut Butter Frosting
Makes about 5 cups

1. In a large bowl with an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy. Gradually add the confectioners’ sugar 1 cup at a time, mixing thoroughly after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl often. Continue to beat on medium speed until light and fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes.

2. Add the peanut butter and beat until thoroughly blended.

10 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
5 cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2/3 cup smooth peanut butter, preferably a commercial brand (because oil doesn’t separate out)


Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze
Makes about 1 1/2 cups

8 ounces semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
3 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/2 cup half-and-half

1. In the top of a double boiler or in a bowl set over simmering water, combine the chocolate, peanut butter, and corn syrup. Cook, whisking often, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.

2. Remove from the heat and whisk in the half-and-half, beating until smooth. Use while still warm.

Original recipe found here.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It was 1980 something...




Your 80s Hunk Is



Jason Bateman






Your 80s Theme Song Is:



Beat It by Michael Jackson







You Are 92% A Child of the 80s



There's hardly a moment of the 80s that you missed out on.

Was there ever a better decade? As if!

Dayuuuummmm....

He was sooooo funny...

PSA

Seriously disturbing...

I would like to thank the academy...

No, really, I would LOVE to thank Melinda and Jen for voting me as a Kick Sassafras Blogger!!

I am really grateful to have so many wonderful blog friends that keep me laughing. Keep up the great work ladies!

Why, oh why, do shoes have tongues?


Ash, our 9 year old HATES tennis shoes.

The main reason?

The tongue. The damn tongue!! Tuesday's are PE day and she is required to wear tennis shoes or I get a mean note in her agenda from the PE teacher about appropriate foot attire. Like she can't run in crocs? Phpppffft...my kid can do anything in crocs!

And what is up with taking her ADHD medication FIRST thing in the morning? That is when WE need it the most. It is so not fair that her teachers get the calm and nice Ash, while Dunnski and I and get the crazed version while the medication takes effect.

I so need an ADHD medication that can be administered through an IV.

So true...

natalie dee
nataliedee.com

Monday, August 25, 2008

How cluttered is your mind?




Your Mind is 52% Cluttered



Your mind is starting to get cluttered, and as a result, it's a little harder for you to keep focused.

Try to let go of your pettiest worries and concerns. The worrying is worse than the actual problems!

I'm diggin' this song...

Things that make me happy...



1. Krispy Kreme Donuts
2. Target's $1.00 aisle
3. My girls coming home on Sunday afernoons after a weekend with their dad
4. Fridays
5. Dunnski
5. Sushi
6. Getting on the scale and not wanting to throw it after I weigh
7. Shopping
8. Beach vacations
9. Waking up next to my best friend

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Bread, milk, butter...

natalie dee
nataliedee.com

Johnny and June

This is my favorite song right now...everyone wants a love like Johnny and June.



Johnny And June - Heidi Newfield

Oh there's something 'bout a man in black,
Makes me want to buy a cadillac,
Throw the top back,
And roll down to Jackson town,
I wanna be there on the stage with you,
You and I could be the next rage to,
Hear the crowd roar,
Make 'em one more,
I'll kick the footlights out,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

I wanna hold you baby right or wrong,
Build a world around a country song,
Pray a sweet prayer,
Follow you there,
Down in history,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

Like Johnny and June,
More than life itself,
No-one else,
This here is promise,
They don't make love like that anymore,
Is that too much to be askin' for,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

Like Johnny and June,
And when we're gone,
There'll be no tears to cry,
Only memories of our lives,
They'll remember, remember,
A love like that.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Hot tamale of the day!

Ummmm, where are her eyeballs?!?!?!

It mad me sad...

A friend shared some news with me today.

Some troubling news about their health.

It made me sad.

I wish I didn't know today, what I didn't know yesterday.

CAN an elbow in the chest really lead to hemorrhoids?

Click here to read the entire article.

Sharon Brown

Brown wants an apology and punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of Victoria Osteen's net worth as part of her lawsuit. Brown claims that she suffers from depression, hemorrhoids, post-traumatic stress disorder because of the incident and that her faith has been affected. She is also suing for counseling expenses.

Oh. My. God. You have got to be kidding me. Hemorrhoids???? WTF? I have birthed two children and I don't even have hemorrhoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And when did it become the norm for Americans to think it was OK to sue anyone for anything that happens to them in their daily lives? I mean, come on, lady, GET A GRIP! I have a harder time trying to get through the express lane at Kroger after work. Or have you ever tried to fight the traffic on the Snyder or I-64 in the East End at rush hour?

I am soooo glad that the judge ruled in favor of the Osteen's in the case.

As I write this post, I think I may need to call my lawyer...I need to sue Ms. Brown. She is soooo causing my ass to hurt!!!!



Thursday, August 14, 2008

What was she thinking???

That necklace totally clashes with that dress.

Der.

Frick a stick on a brick!

It has been 2 months and 2 weeks since I have had a period. I am about to explode. I am starting to notice every time I see the word 'period' in my everyday work. I went to my gynecologist, she did find an ovarian cyst, but she pretty much told me the same thing the doc in the cartoon is telling Ms. Gurkemiller...

Exactly how long does the European summer last anyway??? I have taken 7 pregnancy tests and they have all been negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. I have even taken medicine to start my period. Nothin'!!!

I think I need to find this book. It sounds as if it would answer all my questions. And I feel a lot like the lady on the cover. Only, I cannot get my tongue to wrinkle like she can.


I am wishing for the day that this me again. Because I am afraid if it does not come soon I am going to have to start sacrificing small animals to the period God. My skin feels like it is on inside out, my hair hurts and I can feel every nerve ending in my body.

I just threw this little cartoon in cause I thought it was soooo cute. I knew all the ladies would enjoy it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I have to find this bunny!

My letter opener disappeared yesterday, I think he will be a nice replacement.

On newstands now!

I have three words for you...Fab U Lous

Judge Not


This is an excellent post written by Maeve's Mom as a guest blogger on A Bun's Life. If you are a Mommy or Daddy, this is a post you need to read.

Maeve's Mom talks of her daughter having a fit over a piece of ice. A simple piece of ice that fell on the floor. I totally understand. My youngest, who is now 9, used to chase leaves in the yard and put them under the mat in the living room. She wanted to save ALL the leaves, she did not want them to blow away.

Don't get me wrong, she has had a laundry list of odd behaviors. And, I too, have been angered and had my heart broken by my family thinking that my child was manipulative or just acting ridiculous.

Each child is different and unique. That is why they are called 'children', they are not little adults. Their brains do not function like grown up brains do, they cannot rationalize like adults can. As parents we are to nurture our children into the best possible adults they can be. Give them a loving home that they feel safe in.

Since my divorce I have noticed a great deal of change in my daughter. We have entered her in counseling, which has been a tremendous help. I highly recommend counseling/therapy for any child who has had any major change in their life, whether it be a move, divorce or death. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and with a Sensory Processing Disorder. She is currently taking ADHD medication that is drastically improving her concentrating and focusing skills. School started yesterday and she had a great first day. We are very excited to see if she continues to thrive on her new medication.

To read the entry, click here.

Hot tamale of the day!

Amanda Lepore

I am still having nightmares from seeing this picture.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Oh. My. Jonas.

The Jo Bro's were on MTV's TRL this week and one of their fans went a little nutso. I present to you Exhibit A - where she is eating her hair and looks as if she is about to explode.


Exhibit B...she is reaching out to touch him, with some crazy high five motion.

Exhebit C....Check out skitzoid at the end.


Exhibit D....OMG..did he tell her that her dog just died? I think she is having a nervous breakdown. Someone please call the paramedics.

Now, trust me. We live with a 13 year old girl. We understand the Jo Bro craziness. Kinda. We are forced to listen to their music, look at their posters and hear about their private lives on an daily basis.

Now if I could only get my daughter to STOP asking me if they are HAWT. My answer is and will always be NO! I am old enough to be all three of those boys mother!!!! That is sooooo NOT HAWT!!!

Annoying Co-workers


We all have them. Can't live with them. Would love to live without them.

Yahoo! Hotjobs recently published the article, The 6 Most Annoying Coworkers: Are you one?

Nearly every workplace has them: the Naysayer, who dismisses team members' ideas; the Spotlight Stealer, who claims credit for a colleague's efforts; and other annoying coworkers who make collaboration difficult. Following are six professionals whose irritating behaviors and irksome attitudes prevent them from forming productive relationships at work -- and what you should to do avoid following in their footsteps:

To read the rest of the article, click here.

I would like to add two more categories to the list if I may.

The 'Know it All' and 'The Germaphobe'

Ms. Know it All came to work for us having had previous employment experience in EVERY profession known to man. She never forgets anything or makes mistakes. She often wonders why her current co-workers do not follow guidelines and SOP's of her previous companies.

Ms. Germaphobe will greet you in the hallway and make every effort to scale the wall so she will not have to breath the same air as you. She will also open doors with her feet and then run through the door before it slaps her in the face. Ms. G is so annoying that I would like to walk up behind her and rub my body all over her and yell "COOTIES"!!!!!!!

Hot tamale of the day!

Angelyne
I gotta get me some of that pink eye shadow. Hawt!

Open House


Dunnski and I took the youngest to her open house at her school last week. We were talking about her teacher during the car ride there and I asked her if she knew her. She said that she did, and her teacher was African American. So, when we get to school we went to where her classroom was to be and I only saw one woman in the room, and she was not African American. So, I kept looking thinking that maybe her teacher was in a different room. After several minutes I finally came back to the room I had originally came to and asked the woman if she was Ms. T, and she said that she was. I stood there a little confused, but then after a second, I figured out what my daughter meant to say. Her teacher wasn't African American.....she was Native American.

Kids.

My new...new favorite drink

Mmmmm.....goes down smooooooooth.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

What a day...

I am pretty sure that our mail room dude has been going to Happy Hour at lunch. He just came into the department to drop off our mail and he was involved in a single mail cart hit and run. It kinda reminded me a little of Owen Kronsky (Andy Dick) delivering office supplies in 'Less Than Perfect'. Speaking of, do you remember that show? I loved that show!


Anywho, back to my day. So I am working on this gargantuan spreadsheet and I am keying numbers like a madwoman and I look up and the spreadsheet is gone. Gone. Nowhere to be seen. There is an freakin error message on the screen and then the whole excel database shuts down. Great. That is just effin' great. I calmly go back into my file, that I had saved several times upon my keying craziness, and nothing. NOPE, my changes are not there.

I AM SO GOING HOME TO MY NEW BED.

Ugh...

Do not buy this product for your 9 year old for their birthday.


Be strong.

I don't care how much they want it.

Trust me on this one.

You will not be sorry.

Wowzers!

What a difference a mattress can make!

Dunnski and I bought a much needed new mattress on Sunday. It was delivered yesterday and last night was our first night in our new bed.

Our old mattress looked something like this...


This is what the new mattress looks like...

It is sooooo tall that my feet do not touch the ground sitting on the edge of the bed! I am 5' 8" tall! I may hurt myself getting out this thing! If it were any taller we would be hitting the blades of the ceiling fan...and it is a tray ceiling!

Num, Num

Dunnski and I finally have a nice sushi restaurant close to home, and it is ABOUT time!


Sake Blue Japanese Bistro has brought the upscale urban sushi experience to the suburbs. An inspired menu and gorgeous decor make this the hippest eatery in Fern Creek. The restaurant uses hibachi grills and some of the newest technology in the business.

**Mandy, get a sitter - our men are taking us out for sushi and a movie.