Friday, June 27, 2008

Ebay WTF?

With July 4th quickly approaching, I found some very interesting items on ebay today I wanted to share with you...

Patriotic Leggings...I cannot even think of anything funny to say about these.

For every drag queens closet...a patriotic gown. You know, for those last minute 4th of July Balls you will for sure be invited to. Tee hee...I said "balls"

A 4th of July Tube Top. I am not sure why, but this little number reminds me of The Dukes of Hazzard.


And last, but not least, the patriotic corset. For all those times when you want to stand and salute.

I can't find the words...

Sometimes you just have to be there for someone.

Hug her tightly.

Cry with her.

Sometimes there are no words.

That is the advice I have given my daughter.

When she asked, "Mom, what do I say?"

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What do you say?

Today has not been good.

How do I explain this to my kids.

How do I tell my children that sometimes bad things happen to bad people, when he left two daughters behind that are the same age as my children. How do I know this?

This man was the father of the children with the woman that my ex-husband is dating. He had not played a big role in their lives for many years, but he was in the background.

I am so sick to my stomach thinking about what these two girls have to deal with now. The oldest called my oldest daughter earlier today crying. What do you say? What can you say?

Kidney problems is our paranoia of the month**


**sorry, found this one irresistible...since I have spent the past month and a half passing 17 kidney stones. ;u)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Damn

this looks good.

284,304


is how many miles my car has on it. Does anyone have a car with more?

Holy crap

I am driving in to work this morning and I am listening to a bit on KISS FM called, 'Bet we can make you say WOW!'. Callers call in and tell a story from their life and try to make one of the host say "wow", and if they do, they get 100 bucks. Here were a few of today's selections:

Caller one: My mom used to clean our upstairs and leave a box at the top of the stairs for me take to the garbage. On this day my mom had left a box of mangled hangers in a box on the stairs. I was climbing the stairs and tripped and fell into the box and one of the hangers pierced my skin and went into one of my lungs.

Caller two: I used to weight 375lbs, I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 180lbs and have kept it off for over 30 years.

Caller three: Boy meets girl. Everything is great, they are in love. Girls father dies. One month later her brother dies. A year later her uncle dies. Girl gets depressed. Girl starts drinking. Girl leaves boy. Boy starts smoking pot. Boy then loses job of 13 years after random drug test at automotive plant. Boy has no health insurance or unemployment.

Caller four: These two dudes go to a Halloween costume party dressed as Batman and Superman. They are having a great time at the party and Batman meets a girl dressed as Catwoman. They start dancing and have a great time and decide to go in a back room and get it on. The only catch is, they leave their masks on, her idea. Afterwards she thanks him for a great birthday present and they go on their way. The next night he is at his brothers house for dinner. His niece is celebrating her birthday and she is telling everyone about the great time she had at a costume party she had the night before dressed as Catwoman.

OMG! Yes! This guy slept with his niece. Not niece related by marriage, related by blood niece. He said he got up and went to the bathroom and threw up. And to this day she still has no idea that it was him.

The last story would have made me say WOW!!! It actually made me say a few other words, like, nasty, eeewwww and wtf!

Gonna be a long week...

Monday, June 23, 2008

I want this...


Nirvana Daybed is an incredibly beautiful and lovely couch and its unique design doesn’t make it an optimal choice for all houses. Swedish design speaks again for its practical, modern and and appealing features.

The casing around the sofa is made of a resistant material. The interior sofa fabric is soft and gentle. When you go into nirvana daybed, it feels like you go into a different world: even the sound will be different, and you get a plain sensation of safe and comfortable living.

Top 15 Chuck Norris facts...



15. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

14. Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

13. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

12. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

11. Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

10. Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

9. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

8. If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch.

7. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

5. Chuck Norris won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Chuck Norris.

4. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

3. Chuck Norris does not “teabag” the ladies. He “Potato-Sacks” them.

2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

What time is it?


My youngest is always asking us what time it is. Some days it seems as if she asks at least 15 times. She has always been a very curious child and likes to be 'in the know' about things. But, I cannot for the life of me figure out her obsession with time. I mean, she is only 8 years old, it isn't like she has a terribly hectic schedule to maintain. And, if she attends any function she is chauffeured to her destination.

Several months ago, Dunnski purchased her a digital clock for her room. She can read the numbers on a digital clock, but still has trouble reading the hands on a wall clock. We had hoped this would cut down on her questioning about the time, if she could just look at her own clock. Nope. Didn't really turn out that way.

I know that kids are strange, and believe me, mine can be strange. She really doesn't have a good excuse either for always wanting to know the time. She just wants to know.

What is up with that?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

What were the chances?


Last night before the big party, Dunnski surprised me by taking me to dinner at Hiko-a-mon for sushi. We walk in and are waiting to be seated he looks through the crowd and says, "Isn't that Mandy (from Mandyland)?"

OMG!! It is Mandy and her husband, Bill. How CRAZY is it the we end up in the same restaurant? We ran to greet each other and when we hugged for the first time, there was squealing. We shared a table and ate the most amazing sushi. We really hit it off and had a great time.

At the end of dinner, Mandy and I excused ourselves to the ladies room. Do you know what they have in their ladies room at Hiko-a-mon? Heated toilet seats! Yes, warm seats to toast your buns!! It was great, as we both went into our stalls, we simultaneously said "ooohhhhh" as we sat down. After I was done, I was looking to see how the little piece of heaven worked. The toilet seat was plugged in to the wall, and there was a cord running from the wall to the seat. That was it.

There were a few warnings though...


We were so excited about our find, so when we returned we sent Bill to check out the men's room. He returned and said they in fact had NO heated seats in the men's room. To which I replied, "Der, it said it couldn't get wet!"

We partied like it was 1999...

Update - Here are the pics from our crazy time last night.

Josh over at 9one has all the pictures, they should be up soon.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Oh. My. Jonas.


The premiere of Disney Channels Camp Rock was tonight at 8:00.

My oldest is at a Camp Rock party at one of her friends house. My youngest is hyperventilating in the living room.

This is way more fun than I think I can handle.

Kid Rock tells it like it is...

"Killer Thongs"! Are YOU at risk, news at eleven.

Ladies...I ask you why??

Why do retailers stock their shelves with clothes that are between sizes 2-8, but you can very rarely find sizes 10-16?

I ran into Kohl's (one of my all time favorite stores!) at lunch for a quick look to see if they had any simple black carpi's to go with a bitch'en top that I am planning on wearing to the Hot Hot Japan Hot 9one party tomorrow night. There were plenty of choices, but mostly were in a size I could barely fit one leg into. I did end up finding a pair, but I am pretty sure it was the last pair in the size I needed in the entire store! So, my point being, for every one 'small' size ordered, there should be at least two larger sizes ordered, damn it! Come on...big girls wants to look pretty too!

Jamie Lynn is a mother!

She gave birth to a little girl, Maddie Briann yesterday morning.

Congratulations.

You know, out of that whole crazy family of hers, she is the only one who seems to have a decent head on her shoulders.

And...I have no doubt she will be making the 9one hot tamale list, you know, once she is of legal age.

I got yer raisins right here!

Grrrrr.....

wowOwow.com announced their top 10 "cougar" list...

When I read the list, I KNEW that Demi and Kim would definitely be there. But I ask you, can you really be considered a "cougar" when you are in your 70's?


1. Jennifer Aniston, 39, who is dating John Mayer, 30.

2. Halle Berry, 41, who has a child with partner Gabriel Aubry, 31.

3. Demi Moore, 45, who is married to Ashton Kutcher, 30.

4. Kim Cattrall's "Sex and the City" character Samantha Jones, 50, who dates Smith Jerrod, 30-something.

5. Kim Cattrall in real life, 51, dates chef Alan Wyse, 28

6. Madonna, 49, who is married to Guy Ritchie, 39.

7. Susan Sarandon, 62, who has been with Tim Robbins, 50, for 20 years.

8. Mary Tyler Moore, 71, who has been married to Dr. Robert Levine, 54, since 1983.

9. Joan Collins, 75, who is married to Percy Gibson, 32 years her junior.


10. Mrs. Robinson, mid-40s, and Benjamin Braddock, age 21, in the 1967 film, "The Graduate."

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Sorry Bethanne...no more texting for you!

Remember this....

Bethanne - WU

Mom - This cell phone bill, that's what's up. Who are you texting 50 times a day????

Bethanne - IDK my BFF Jill

Mom - well, tell Jill that I am taking away your phone

Bethanne - TISNF

Mom - This bill is what is S N F

My oldest loves to text, text, text and text some more. She has not been as bad as Bethanne, her last bill only averaged 19 texts a day. And she accessed the internet at a cost of .01 per kilobyte, which, was not cheap. I just got off the phone with the wireless carrier. It is official, texting and internet access has been cancelled. She could do well some months and keep her texting under control, but others, she just totally lost her mind.

So, she now has a $147.00 cell phone bill that after her dad and I chip in our $25 each we agreed to pay each month, she will need to work off. I see a lot of babysitting her sister in her future.

PSA

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I am buying this!

With two kids, two nieces, a dog and a whole lot of summer left...this looks pretty cool.

I am gonna lose it!

So, it is almost lunch time and my youngest calls crying and upset because her little friend cannot spend the night Friday night. We were originally thinking about Saturday night, but hey, we are planning on attending the Hot Hot Japan Hot kick ass party that 9one is hosting!!! So, Saturday night is a no go on the slumber party! My oldest takes the phone from her ( this would be the teenager with the attitude) and starts telling me how crazy her sister is and asking me if she will have to babysit next summer. WTF????

I begin to try to tell her to turn on the TV, play a game with her, paint her nails or take a walk with the dog. I mean, come on, she has ADHD, how hard can it be to distract her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then I hung up, I am really annoyed.

Grace strikes again...


Sunday we had a house full of family for dinner. The leaf was put in the dining room table and the extra chairs were carried up from the basement.

Dinner was fabulous, Dunnski fired up the grill and we had the most amazing steaks. Everything was perfect, the evening flowed well and then everyone went home.

Cork (my oldest) and I started to take the chairs back to the basement.

Here is where the story gets interesting.

I ALWAYS hold on to the hand rail when I am going up or down a flight of stairs. I have trouble not falling down walking on solid ground. So, I start down the stairs with the chair enveloped in my left arm and my right grasping the hand rail. I get about 2/3 of the way down and my flip flopped foot missed a step. Yep, I went down like a sack of concrete and slid to the second step from the bottom like there was no tomorrow. It hurt like holy hell. As I was sliding to my final destination, the damn chair I was holding was bouncing on top of my body like a child on a trampoline. When I finally did stop, I just sat there and thought to myself, "did this just happen, why the hell didn't I catch myself?"

Anyhoo, I went to the doctor Monday morning to get checked out. I have a bruise and knot the size of Manhattan on my left hip and my entire left arm and hand is sore. The doctor did a couple of x-rays and I cracked a rib and I tore something in my shoulder blade. Yeah, Grace is not my middle name.

Cool CD

Have a very Brady day!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I have a strange question...

Why couldn't you squeeze the Charmin???????

Vyvanse take me away....


Today was the visit to our pediatrician for my 8 year to be prescribed her ADHD medication. My head is still spinning. It was a lot of information to take in.

Sigh.

I hope it works. We are starting on the lowest dose of Vyvanse. We should see a major improvement if the medication is working within two weeks. If in two weeks there is no change, we will need to switch medications.

Her sleeping problems could and probably are related to the ADHD. We are crossing our fingers and toes hoping that the medication makes a difference and helps her with her bedtime.

Say a little prayer for my little one that she improves on her new medication. I will be saying lots of big ones.

WHATEVER!!!


I am so sick and tired of hearing this word come out of my teenagers mouth...I could vomit.

I just got a phone call from my cheerful daughter who spent the night with a friend last night and had the day off from babysitting her sister. Did she want to tell her mother hello? No. She wanted to know if we would take her to Six Flags tonight after work. Ahhh....hells no. She then wants to know if she can spend the night again with her friend. Ahhhh....again, hells no! She has to babysit her sister tomorrow. It is at that point I begin to hear the, It is summer and I should not have to do anything speech. To which I responded with something that I really should not put in writing, and she gave me a big fat WHATEVER!!!

I need a punishment for every time I hear it. And I do not mean when she uses it in every day conversation. I mean when she uses it to disrespect me when she does not get her way. So, I need your help blogger friends, give me your best punishment ideas for a 13 year old girl who needs an attitude adjustment.

I am all ears!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thank God for miracles...

A co-workers DIL water broke and went into labor over the weekend at 28 weeks. The doctor's did everything they could to prolong the pregnancy. Each day the baby would only get stronger. Then, on Monday during an ultrasound they found that her placenta was tearing away from her uterus, an emergency c-section soon followed.

Forty five minutes later, Menda Elizabeth was born, weighing only 2lbs, 11ozs, and 16 inches long. The doctors were able to give her a shoot when Mom first arrived at the hospital that helped her lungs form in 48 hours. She has only needed to be on a respirator for a short 8 hr period. She is doing very well, although very tiny, she still has a lot of growing to still do.




Here is a picture of her tiny little diaper. It is 3.5 inches long and 2 inches wide. I can fit it in the palm of my hand. It is quite possibly the cutest little thing I have ever seen. Grandma says it too big for her, although it is the smallest preemie diaper that is made.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Oh. My. Goodness.

Brownie Peanut Butter Cups


  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 tablespoon water
  • 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter chips plus about 1/3 cup more for garnishing
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips plus about 1/3 cup more for garnishing
  • 3/4 cup creamy peanut butter


Preheat oven to 350°. Spray or grease 12 muffin cups.

In a large microwave-safe bowl, combine sugar, butter, and water. Microwave on high for 1 minute or until butter is melted. Stir in 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips until melted. Stir in egg and vanilla extract. Add flour and baking soda, stirring until blended. Allow to cool to room temperature. Then, stir in 1/2 cup each peanut butter chips and semi-sweet chocolate chips. Spoon batter by heaping tablespoonfuls into muffin cups.

Bake for 13-15 minutes or until top is set and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out slightly wet. Place pan on wire rack. Centers of brownies will fall upon cooling. If not, tap centers with the back of a teaspoon to make a hole.

Place peanut butter in a small microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high for 45 seconds, then stir. While brownies are still hot, spoon about a tablespoon of peanut butter into the center of each brownie. Top with semi-sweet chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. Cool completely in pan.

Mmmmmkay...

Girl Power!!!

Yay!! Stephanie wins Top Chef!!

Hey, if you want a chance to win a super cool bag...

Head over to Melinda Zook's girlie giveaway! What a great idea in reusable shopping bags from Flip and Tumble, but hurry!! The entry deadline is tonight at midnight and the winners will be announced tomorrow. Good luck!!






Melinda Zook

Almost a Worldless Wednesday (a day late)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I have died and gone to ice cream heaven...

After lunch Dunnski and I dropped by Baskin-Robbins for a scoop of heavenly delight. I could not believe my eyes when I saw this flavor...Chocolate Oreo!

Oh my goodness, it was soooooo good. Chocolate ice cream with tiny bits of Oreo cookies and huge chunks of chocolate chunks. I had a chocorgasm in the car on the way back to work. And YES, it was very good for me! I think Dunnski enjoyed it as well. ;u)

I love, love, love this show...

Season 4 is coming to an end, I am very sad. I would like to see Stephanie win this season. I mean, 3 guys have taken the title the first three seasons. It would be nice for a girl to win one. Not to mention, she can cook your ass off and she is very sweet.


Richard could win as well, he is also a very good chef and I like his personality. I do question his choice to wear pink crocs, but that is his decision. Congrats to Richard and his wife on the birth of their daughter, Riley Maddox, born May 29. Which just happens to be my oldest birthday, a great day to be born on!


This however is Lisa. She, in my opinion, is the most ungrateful, ungracious, disrespectful excuse of a chef I have ever seen. This was the picture taken of her during the photo shoot for Bravo TV's website.


Here is what she looked like during most of the taping of the show, minus the cigarette.


And, with whoever wins, Padma will of course still be HOT HOT JAPAN HOT. Man, Tom has a tough job.