Friday, March 28, 2008
I. Do. Not. Jog.
She was walking so fast that at even my fastest walking pace I could not keep up with her. By the time we made it back to our building my legs and back were on fire. This is not a good feeling. I am so out of shape.
I need a ho-ho, or three.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The 6th grade band prepares for their turn...
This was my favorite, the Orff band. It was very relaxing.
And, who was the cutest couple in attendance?? Duh! Oh, the scary guy in the glasses beside me is just my brother, pay no mind to him.
We had a really irritating chick sitting in front of us who arrived inebriated and then consumed 4 more beers during the next three hours. This only lead to her becoming even more annoying and 'whispering' ever so loudly to her husband every 7 seconds about anything and everything that popped into her pretty little head. She also liked to stand in front of us (we had seats on the floor) and dance as if she was pole dancing, but without the pole. I found this to be a little trashy, although I think Dunnski might disagree with me on this one.
And did you know that if you order a bottle of water in Freedom Hall that you cannot have the top to the bottle? I did not know that, apparently it could make a very heavy weapon if you decided to throw your water bottle at someone. So, I have my open bottle of water on the floor and guess what happens???? It gets knocked over. The woman behind me goes ballistic saying that I have ruined her $100 purse and she goes on and on and on about the water on the floor. I turned and politely apologized and explained to her that the water spilling was an accident and I was very sorry. And as I was doing this I got a good look at her purse, it was NOT a $100 purse. I am not sure who she thought she was fooling. And who brings an expensive purse to a concert and sits it on the dirty floor? Duh!
Anyway, Michael was awesome. He sang all my favorite songs and I still love him! Here are a few of the pictures we took. They are not very good, but you get the idea!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I thought I had a cold until I went to the doctor today and found out I have the dreaded flu. AHHHH....HELLO!?!? I GOT A FLU SHOT!! I am not supposed to get the flu!!! After I left the doctor I spent almost two hours in two different pharmacies trying to get my three prescriptions filled. Not fun. Walgreen's had one in stock but not the other two. Meijer had 18/30 of one and had to call to get a replacement on another that insurance would not cover. Geeezzz....just give me my medicine already! The doctor did give me a note for two days off from work. When was the last time you can remember getting a note from the doctor as an adult?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
So, she signs my CD and then Dunnski and I lean in for a picture. And guess what???? As I put my arm around her, I touched her butt!!!! Now, it wasn't a grope, it was a brush by touch like when you are putting your arm around someone. For a couple of seconds I thought maybe she didn't feel it, then I noticed her looking at me, like she was thinking, "why did you just touch my butt?" So, I said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch to your butt." And then Matt takes the picture below.
Notice where her hand is on my shoulder? Yeah, she thought I was wanting some action. What I was actually doing was setting the scene for Matt to ask her to dinner with us after the show. He didn't get my subtlety.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
To Whom it May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
- I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 5 year old again.
- I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
- I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples in a pond with rocks.
- I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
- I want to lie under a big oak tree and watch the ants march up its trunk.
- I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
- I want to think a quarter is worth more than a dollar bill cause it's prettier and weighs more.
- I want to go fishing and care more about catching the minnows along the shore than the big bass in the lake.
- I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes. When I didn't know what I know now. When all I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worried.
- I want to think the world is fair.
- I want to think that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
- I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
- I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.
- I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, dreams, the imagination, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, a kiss that makes a boo-boo go away, making angels in the snow and that my dad and Superman are the strongest people in the world.
So......here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit cards and the bills too, my 401K statements, my stocks & bonds, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my house and the payments too, my e-mail address, pager,cell phone, computer, and watch. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this with me further, you'll have to catch me first, cause,
Dear Mr. Thatcher:
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi-pads for over 20 years,
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak-Guard
Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the
beach in tight, white shorts.
But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flex-Wings. Kudos
on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can' t tell you how safe and secure I feel
each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo.' Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into
a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's
Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...which brings me to the
reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words,
'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f****** kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well...did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never
be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi-pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong,' or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bull s***. And that's a promise I will keep.