I have a confession to make. I am sorry I have been neglecting you lately. I must confess that I have been....cheating on you on another site. It is a site named ebay. Now, I know you are upset, you are used to getting my full attention. But, you have to understand, ebay helps me make money! You don't really help me do that. Although you do offer me emotional support when I need to vent or when I just need a laugh and that is something money just cannot buy. So remember, you were my first internet addiction. And I will never abandon you. Right now, the green stuff is a little more powerful.
And, NO!, I cannot find a shady little hole in the wall downtown to 'dance' for tips. Geeesh, I thought you would understand!