Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to “10”.
6. Play with the automatic doors.
7. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
8. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
9. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
10. Put M&M’s on layaway.
11. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
13. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”
14. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
15. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
16. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
17. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
18. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
19. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
20. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
21. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
22. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
23. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
24. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
25. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

courtesy of


Matt K. said...

You are a sick, sick mama - and you have my sense of humor!

Charmed said...

Went on my lunch hour today, tried to fit myself in a gym bag. All I managed to do was wrinkle my clothes. :-(